Stress

Ugh I'm feeling SO stressed lately.
Specifically from Chemistry and the Math.
I've made too many mistakes in life.
I should have dropped Physics and Anthro last year and taken TEch. Design and Comm. Tech where I would have been happier and done better. and then I should have finished off Chem 12 in Summer School. And then if I'd done that I could have taken Tech. Design and COmm Tech 12 this year and gotten REALLY good grades.

I want to drop Chem 12 but the issue is tha I need it, if I take it Night School then I have to take it next semester and then I have to juggle Calculus, Chem and Bio. and have 5 courses.

I seriously wish I could re-do high school, like from the start. Straight from grade 9. I would do so much better. I would have tried harder in courses where I didnt before, I would make different choices.

Now I'm even thinking maybe I should have gone into the arts????
I dunno I feel like my life is SUCH A mess right know.

I havea Math test last period today and I am NOT prepared.
Then reight before lunch I havea Chem Lab. GOD I seriously don't want to go into Chem anymore. I feel everytime I go there it's like suffocation or slow death or something. See there is another mistake. I should have switched out of World ISsues and taken Chem 12 with Mr. Hall.

It's just to much. I feel like I wont even make it into University. I feel like a complete failure in life and I try not to cry but god im screaming on the inside. It's giving me so much stress. I hope I dont break down or something. I just feel like I want to restart my life like form day 1 and live it differently. But then that would mean I wouldnt turn out like me. It's sucha double edged sword.

I haven't even laughed seriously in such a long time. Thant's not me I usually have at least ONE thing too be happy about but I'm so depressed and unhappy and dissapointed to be happy about anything. Not even candy and chocolate is making me happy.

:'(


~Live Laugh, Love