To Procrastinate or Stop: That Should be the Question

Yes, im a terrible person AGAIN i have not posted in a while, MANFRED (yes I have decided to call you Manfred in my posts Olive Boi/Japanese Umbrella Girl)
;P
Okay so Manfred has (probably unknowingly) shamed me into writing this post. I uplaud you Manfred for updating so often and writing/sharing so much. But yes it shames me because i am unable to stay faithful to blogging (cuz im a lazy arse as youve probably already figured out). But i will take this shame and use it as inspiration to rant long and hard about recent events in my pirate life
;)

So first off we shall move backwords from this moment to however far i can remeber i think i have ALOT to say...(im digressing...my bad...okay ill just stop and acctually write :D)

So technically at the moment im meant to be writing my Hamlet essay, proving he is not insane, I have my arguements, a WONDERFUL thesis (if i do says os myself) and all the quotes i wanna use, I just cant seem to start. Btw did i mention it was due tommorow, yeah im terrible. Maybe writting on here will get me into my writing element andi can start writing it.
Speakinbg of English im presenting my poem tommorow. I chose Edgar Allen Poe and wanted to do The Raven. Its long though and Ms. H said i could only do a passage. Instead im doing Lenore:

   Ah, broken is the golden bowl! the spirit flown forever!    Let the bell toll!- a saintly soul floats on the Stygian river;    And, Guy de Vere, hast thou no tear?- weep now or nevermore!    See! on yon drear and rigid bier low lies thy love, Lenore!    Come! let the burial rite be read- the funeral song be sung!-    An anthem for the queenliest dead that ever died so young-    A dirge for her the doubly dead in that she died so young.     "Wretches! ye loved her for her wealth and hated her for her pride,    And when she fell in feeble health, ye blessed her- that she died!    How shall the ritual, then, be read?- the requiem how be sung    By you- by yours, the evil eye,- by yours, the slanderous tongue    That did to death the innocence that died, and died so young?"     Peccavimus; but rave not thus! and let a Sabbath song    Go up to God so solemnly the dead may feel no wrong.    The sweet Lenore hath "gone before," with Hope, that flew beside,    Leaving thee wild for the dear child that should have been thy         bride.    For her, the fair and debonair, that now so lowly lies,    The life upon her yellow hair but not within her eyes    The life still there, upon her hair- the death upon her eyes.     "Avaunt! avaunt! from fiends below, the indignant ghost is riven-    From Hell unto a high estate far up within the Heaven-    From grief and groan, to a golden throne, beside the King of         Heaven!    Let no bell toll, then,- lest her soul, amid its hallowed mirth,    Should catch the note as it doth float up from the damned Earth!    And I!- to-night my heart is light!- no dirge will I upraise,    But waft the angel on her flight with a Paean of old days!" 

Its quite the beautiful albeit dark poem and is related to the Raven.   Moving on; yesterday my family went to the african safari. I was meant to go but i was feeling really sick and apparently i had a fever too. Plus im on my PMS time, so i dont feel taht great (dosent help tha i got a wretched cold today >.>) But yeah i didnt got and i stayed home. Watched Chaplin with RDJ♥. It was GOOD. I love this man, he never ceases to amaze me. I also re watched Stardust and Men in Black I. I also watched the BBC version of Sherlock Holmes with my mom. Watched the second episode today.  then SATURDAY. I went to Fashion Outlet Mall in Buffalo for prom shopping THE DEALS AND DISCOUNTS. Let me amaze you with my Shopping ability (even though i despise shopping I always get a deal on really good clothes) Dress: After running around the mall and going to every shop with dresses, i ended up at dress barn. Saw one i liked. Only dress I tried on. HAH. I hate trying on clothes, im not a dress person so i didnt wanna try on dresses. The dress was the only size 8.  Its cream with silky black borders around the neck and hemline. 3 black roses silk screened to the front. very flowy and kisses the tops of my knees.  I love it because you can dress it up for evening wear and dress it down for casual wear. Its VERY simple and cost...wait for it...FORTY BUCKS. Whats more a lady at he billing line gave me a 5 dollar off coupon cuz she wasnt gonna use it so dress bill came to with tax - 36 dollars and change. Shoes- Looked everywhere. Aldo heels killed my feet. Came to naturalizer after ALOT of trying on and killing my poor feet. Finding shoes is hard for me, i have size 10 feet. Besides ive never worn heels and i wanted a black pair so i can wear them later. Ive been wanting a pair of lace heels. Ended up- Black, lattice pattern, peep toe, and quite surprisingle and comfortably 3.5 inch heels. Cost - 38 dollars and change. 

Next I wanted a blazer to make the dress more formal. Ive always wanted a 3/4th sleeved cropped black silky blazer. Saks Fifth avenue. 100 dollar Calvin Klein Blazer, on sale for 70 dollars. Got a coupon and bought it for 50 buck DEAL.  Next just some clothes for me, 5 dollar GAP jeans in grey and the last military jacket from esprit, originally 80 bucks reduced to 40 bucks, hada coupon so i got it for 20 bucks DEAL. 

So all my prom stuff so far comes to about 120 dollars, alot of people bought their dressees ONLY for 200 bucks. Yes I AM AWESOME.

I just have to buy a clutch and jewllery and hair stuff.  ;)  Friday. JACKIEE CAME OUT. I didnt go see cuz i had to meet someone for a job offer. My dads friend. We all had dinner and talked about what i wanna do with my life. I also accepted my offer from OCAD for Environmental Design.  That leads me too im looking for a well priced apartment to rent with roomates.  But jackie yeah, my friends wanted to see it 2D and i wanted to see it 3D so i dont mind not going.   I also went to see Hamelt the play at Bathurst Street theatre. LOVED IT. It was different from the movie. I had my first Korean BBQ with Ellie after 

Till later, thats all i rememebr now

~Live Laugh, ARR    

Hamlet

For the last week or so my class has been watching ‘Hamlet”. The movie version of the famed play by William Shakespeare. I thought that I would laugh at Hamlet. I had previously watched the famous “to be or not to be” part on television once and I thought It was the most ridiculous thing ever. There was this guy in period clothing perched atop a cliff. He was sitting right at the very edge. Below him, the waves are crashing against the sheer cliff. So this guy is sitting there and he has a little pocket knife in his hand and he starts stabbing the rock. Then he goes “to be or not to be, that is the question”, and while he says it he’s stabbing the rock. It was quite amusing and I thought, wow what a lunatic. Last week I figured out that Hamlet comes out according to how the actor depicts him.

We have been watching the 1996 Kenneth Brannagh version of the play. Brannagh himself is in the title role. Brannagh’s Hamlet is quite funny. The way he portrays Hamlet makes me feel sympathy for Hamlet. I feel like Hamlet isn’t some crazy psych (as has been debated for a while). I feel like he is just this young man whose beloved father has died and less than a month after his uncle has married his mother and they are know king and queen of Denmark. What makes the situation nightmarishly worse than it is, is the fact that Hamlets fathers ghost comes to him and tells him that his uncle murdered him and too take revenge.

I don’t think Hamlet is crazy or insane; he is just aggrieved and angry at his situation; at his murderous uncle for, one, being murderous and two marrying and carrying on incestuously with his dear mother, as well as at his mother for not being grief ridden enough at her late husband’s death and for hastily getting married to his uncle. Any person would be angry and sad if they were in that situation. I think he’s just very depressed and so a little high on raw emotion.

What I do like about Brannagh’s Hamlet is the fact that he isn’t portrayed as over the top or broody or angsty. He is actually depicted as having quite the sense of humor even at a time where he is very sad and mad.

BTW this blog was written a couple months ago like in march i think.

But anyway We just finished ROsencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead and I love that play as well.

Hamlet is definately, of the Shakespeare plays I have been exposed to, my favorite play so far. Hes funny and intelligent and all round nice guy who is just aggrieved. Give him a break

;)

~Live, Laugh, ARR

Anger Management Among Other Things

So I had said before that there are things I have done that I would rather not have. I also said that this post would be the Hamlet one...UNFORTUNATELY there have been things bugging me, namely YESTERDAY that I need to get off my chest before I freaking explode and kill someone. I already talked to my friend and my mom but I think the best way for me sometimes is to have a nice long written rant and then I can properly put ALL my murderous, inhumane and ugly thoughts down. Yes I do have the above and am not proud of them and therefore I feel shy saying all of them out loud, in person, to people I know and love.

[ BTW to the two of you reading, I'm really sorry you have to read this and know it about me, this particular blog is going to be one of those that show you the part of me that shames me most]

So on Friday I was having lunch, and Friday (up until lunch had gone pretty well, I planted six hanging planters with about 15 different orchids to hang from the greenhouse ceiling and they look beautiful. Btw THANK GOD for Green Industries because that class is pure therapy for the mind sometimes).

So lunch, I had to show my friend this video about this 13 yr old girl who had the courage to give a speech in front of the UN General Assembly on how they are doing nothing about adequately saving the environment. It is VERY INSPIRATIONAL for someone who is THIRTEEN to stand up and talk for about 10-15 minutes in front of UN officials. And honestly the way this girl talks is extremely mature, she dosent sound thirteen and she slams all of her points home. It wowed me. Plus she and her friends raised their own money to fly from vancouver to south america for their cause. I mean WOW.

BUT NO, SOME FUCKING ONE HAS TO BE THEIR NEGATIVE SELF AND RUIN THINGS.

"Oh she's so fake and insincere, if she were sincere she would say hat all from memory and acctually mean it." WHAT WERE YOU NOT LISTENING??? Shes THIRTEEN, she has the COURAGE to plainly say what she wants to in front of a HUGE HALL of IMPORTANT ADULTS. Thats INTIMIDATING and she only faltered slightly sometimes. YOU TELL ME IF YOU WOULD HAVE EVER DONE THAT. MY GOD.

But hey of COURSE there had to be more >.>

"I hate how adults listen to kids talking. Why is that? Thats so dumb. kids are ignorant and dumb. They dont know anything and have no experience"

WHAT?/ Its incredible to hear mature children because what they say is sincere, untainted and innocent. Innocence and naivety is what makes a child's words powerful and impactful. if it were an adult the next person would be like yeah whatever but from a child its awe inspiring. I had to repeat this like literally 5 times. Did you know I hate people who repeat the same question again and again just when youve explained yourself and i HATE interruptions while I'm answering your effing question???

WELL THERE WE GO.

I ALMOST came THIS close to committing bloody murder right then and there. There were SO MANY murderous thoughts in my head. You see I don't require weaponry of any sort, all i need to do is punch and kick and i swear to god you will end up in hospital. I have not felt so much anger and disgusting black hate in a WHILE. I thought i had controlled and locked that up but sometimes and some PEOPLE get to me and I feel the blinding rage and I bay for blood. I had to slam myself against the lockers in front of which i was sitting and grip my laptop so I wouldnt do anything.

My friend told me she was proud of me not doing anything and honestly so am I, I'm proud of the fact that I have come far enough in holding myself when the person I want to eliminate is sitting right next to me.

If you've known and had issues with anger you get what I mean by seeing red and wanting blood and as scary and freaky as that is Im happy to say I ve reached a sense of control. The only bad thing is that keeping it all in is bad for the health and what that will do to you as a person

So after this long and dark and horrific rant I shall post the Hamlet post right after.

Again I'm sorry i've had to reveal my horrible mind to you guys but thats a part of me I hate and I guess it was bound to come up as a blog if not know then sometime in the future

Im Not Dead I Swear ;P

As my title aptly suggests I am not dead...i've just had stuff going on and I wasnt in the mood to type. but umm alot HAS happened and this semester its not academic but social/emotional and such.

Umm okay update on school since thats easiest; Green industries is pretty much child labour but I love it cuz its outdoors and the weather is nice and its a nice workout. Tech Design is a bit more boring but a lot of the projects are shared. English is okay...not like we are learning much. LOVED WATCHMEN and HAMLET (btw i have that Hamlet blog i promised done and i'll post it in a bit). Umm Bio is BORING, I know more about the teacher and his problems than bio. Night school is going great. that class is HILARIOUS. So many jokes nad priceless faces and im passing and we are done /may 19th.

Now lets get on with "this majorly pisses subby off" business.

so lately one of the people in our hallway namely Hater has been irritating the hell out of me. she used to be okay grade 9 and 10 then last year i noticed her starting to become more negative and say random crap and i thought it was only me so i shut up and put up with it. this year it got WORSE. i cant stand it when people do stuff just to get attention. HONESTLY what are you 5?? and there is only so much negativity that you should spew out of your mouth. Btw she hates girls who are drama queens...ummm REALITY CHECK honey your one yourself. But this is what pisses me off THE MOST. I gave up trying to adjust and be freindly some time ago. I have another friend who has been friends with her longer like into middle school and Hater keeps jabbing her like EFF man shes your friend quit putting her down and insulting her too. Thats just disgusting. this friend too has just given up, she cant take it anymore either.

Anyway enough with negativity and whining and shit like that, on to other things. FEWSON BASTARD, i call him Very Little Male Children, get it FEW SON. anyway he is our school vice principle and he is Imperial Emperor of Grade A Dipshit Assholes (scuse my terrible language but this son of a bitch requires foulness). Anyway, he misunderstood my friends cuz of ANOTHER asshole and she gpt into trouble. then yesterday while a bunch of us were digging and shoveling soil in Green In he goes (while we are still there) " Hahaha this could be an alternative to suspension" $%()*^%@#$%^&*(*#$%^&*#$%^&*(

OMG i want to cause him SERIOUS harm ZABIETCHKACOURVA (its polish for 'I'll kill you bitch", learnt it from my friend)

okay moving on ummm oh yeah prom is coming up and all grade 12s are going insane. Tables, limos, afterparties, dresses, shoes, accessories CHRIST its driving everyone crazy. but yea i still have to get my ticket, find a dress and shoes. and hope i dont die on heels. grawrrr so much preperation for one night. but in the long run i guess its worth it to look back at memories non??

im thinking a wine red dress and black lace heels. hair is slightly curled/waved it should look natural with a couple strands pulled back into a berrette and i dunno if the dress should be long or short. but thats only what i drew i obviously wont be able to find what i imagined. alot of girls are doing beige/brown, white and dark blue.

moving to ♥♥♥

I LOVE ROBERT DOWNEY JR.THIS MAN, MY GOD

okay before you read farther, im not one of those creepy fan girl shallow girls. I admire talented, down to earth humorous and intelligent people. Robert Downey Jr is all of that. The man is HILARIOUS, acts VERY well SINGS like an ANGEL. he goes that his singing is a hobby...NO ITS NOT, he sounds like an actual singer. he has an ADORABLE laugh and smile and he has an inspiring back story. what person gets out of drugs after starting at age 8. thats truly awe inspiring and i admire and respect him for that.

the only creepy thing about all this is that he is my parents age....i can look over that though but people keep reminding me.

:)

I love Broken By Robert Downey Jr. fave songs, i completely grin while that song plays without realizing.

anyway i will shut up now i know that was some goood loong ranting, back to scaling and drawing for tech design.

:D

~Live, Laugh, ARR